I am crazy about books! I have loved to read ever since I almost flunked 1st grade. Hey now, I was only five years old when I started first grade and had no prior formal education. No preschool, no kindergarten…nada! I wasn’t even going to turn six years old until December. For crying out loud, (How else would you cry? Especially if you are 5 being sent off to 1st grade without the basics.) I knew I was behind the minute I walked into Ms. Likely’s classroom. Yes, that was her real name! She was nice, it was the kids that were mean!
Anyway, when she told my mom halfway through the year I needed help reading and my mom did what any woman with 11 children would do…she made me go to my room everyday and read! Actually, I don’t remember what she did, I’ll have to ask Marybeth! All I know is I was passed to 2nd grade and learned to LOVE reading. My favorites were biographies and they remain my favorite type of reading to this very day. I read every single biography in our elementary school library and all the Little House on the Prairie books. I did real a few fiction classics – Stuart Little, The Boxcar Children, Charlotte’s Web, etc..
I just finished a book entitled, “Furious Pursuit” by Tim King & Frank Martin, subtitled “Why God Will Never Let You Go.” I don’t know about you, but I am all about GRACE! Mainly, because I need and use a lot of it! Still, sometimes it is hard to accept. Subconsciously I think, “Gee, God has got to be over me and my sin and failures by now!” It’s as if I know that salvation is a gift received by faith (come on what Christian doesn’t know Ephesians 2:8?) by God’s grace, but then I feel like I have to do something to maintain it! Honestly, I’ve been struggling with this all my life, basically because I have a hard time behaving!
Don’t get me wrong, I know there are results and evidence of any relationship, let alone relationship with God. I get that I am a new creation and Christ lives in me. I understand that doesn’t mean I will be perfect, otherwise 1 John 1:9 wouldn’t be in the Bible and John was writing to Christians. I just wasn’t sure how high and how often you could go on the “sin meter” before your Christian status was revoked! I adhere to the doctrine of eternal security of believers, in the back of my mind though, I imagined that when I showed up at those pearly gates I would find out I had some aspect wrong and they would open that trap door that goes to “he__ __ double hockey sticks.”
Deep, deep down inside me, a still small Voice would tell me over and over, all of my life, “You belong to Me.” When I read, “Furious Pursuit” the Voice became louder and clearer. It reminded me of 2 Timothy 2:13- “If we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.” I don’t understand how, I’m not really sure when, but I am convinced I belong to Him. When I “behave” I enjoy belonging, when I don’t behave, I hide! It is a mystery like no other.
I like this quote from Furious Pursuit-“I’m often surprised to find how my doubts can mingle so freely with my faith.”